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Heirloom Engagement Ring: More About Etiquette

Heirloom Engagement Ring: More About Etiquette

Diamond Enhancement Education August 13, 2020 0 Maya Gordon
antique ring, heirloom diamond engagement ring, heirloom engagement ring, heirloom ring

In This Guide

  • 1 Asking Permission
    • 1.1 Don’t pressure the owner
    • 1.2 Never assume you will get the ring
    • 1.3 Be sure to be grateful
  • 2 When You Get the Ring
  • 3 Things to Consider Before You Make Changes

Using an heirloom engagement ring is not as easy as you may think. You should go through many considerations before you have it in your hands. For some, an heirloom engagement ring may be one of the most treasured pieces of jewelry in the family. Others may just have a less valuable ring that has been passed from one generation to another. However valuable or sentimental your heirloom ring is, you should always observe the proper etiquette in using it. 

An antique family ring.
An antique family ring.

Asking Permission

The tension of wanting to marry your special someone starts when you ask to use an heirloom engagement ring. You must go through the process of asking permission first. Here are some pointers to remember:

Don’t pressure the owner

Trying to use the heirloom engagement ring of your family or your fiancé-to-be’s family may be a bit of a challenge. You should practice patience and never pressure the person to give you the heirloom engagement ring. Let the person have enough time to consider your request. 

Never assume you will get the ring

Humble yourself and don’t assume you will have the heirloom engagement ring and pass it down through your new family. You should know the one who currently wears the ring. You and your loved one could make an effort to know the one who wears the ring. By letting the person know that you are a worthy couple, you may convince the wearer to give you the ring. 

Man holding the hand of his fiance.
Man holding the hand of his fiance.

Be sure to be grateful

Don’t forget to thank the person who gave you the blessing of using the family’s heirloom ring, especially if it’s a diamond ring. The heirloom engagement ring will make your proposal even more unforgettable. Now, you have the opportunity to pass down the ring to your children and the generations after them.

When You Get the Ring

Once you receive the heirloom engagement ring, don’t get too excited and rush to your partner to propose. You should first do the following:

  • Bring the ring to your jeweler to have it inspected and cleaned. 
  • If there’s any damage, the jeweler should repair it so that it won’t get worse.
  • Ask your jeweler if they provide services for older rings to make sure the heirloom ring is always in its optimal form.
  • Store the heirloom ring properly.

Things to Consider Before You Make Changes

If you’re thinking of making certain changes to the heirloom ring, it is best to discuss it first with the previous wearer. This is to avoid any bad reaction when the previous owner sees the revised ring. Make sure to explain the changes that you plan to make. It would be best to have a younger witness to the discussion if the previous owner tends to forget conversations. You might want to mention the following to start the conversation:

A stunning heirloom engagement ring.
A stunning heirloom engagement ring.
  • Say that you would want to add certain additions that will reflect our fiancé-to-be’s style or include pieces from your fiancé-to-be’s family’s ring.
  • Mention your worry that the setting is getting loose and that your fiancé tends to work daily in and out of the office. It will help secure the diamond or gem if your jeweler changes the setting.
  • Necessary alterations to the heirloom engagement ring can help match it with the wedding band.
  • You can also say that the heirloom ring is either too small or too big for your partner’s hand and that it might help if you make changes to it. 

It is best not to insist on the changes you want to make if the previous owner doesn’t agree. At best, you can just save the ring for your fiancé to wear during red-letter occasions. 

A woman who had just received an antique family ring during her engagement.
A woman who had just received an antique family ring during her engagement.

Getting a much-coveted heirloom engagement ring is an absolute honor. It represents the blessing and the trust given by the previous wearer and the entire family that held the ring before. Remember to be thankful and to care for the heirloom engagement ring. You and your fiancé are the new caretakers of the precious treasure. 

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About The Author

Maya5588 Email Author

I'm a free-spirit, sleep 4 hours a day and can NEVER seem to stop. I work in the diamond industry as a profile manager matching clarity enhanced diamond buyers and sellers and miners with distribution. I hope you like my post's and would love for you to reach out if there is anything you would like to see me cover!




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